Good Form, Poor Form (July 2014)

POOR FORM to people who pick their nose while driving. Do they actually think that because they are in a car we cannot see them? It’s disgusting.
          Natalie Mann, Sorrento

GOOD FORM to the pretty lady I met at the bar on Friday night. When you asked if I had a banana in my pocket I naturally assumed you were making a lewd joke – but no, there really was a banana in there! And it’s lucky you noticed it when you did because it had gone all soft and spotty and was on the verge of disintegrating, which would have made a real mess of my white velvet shorts, I can tell you.
          Grateful, Rye

POOR FORM to the wild animal that has visited us almost every night for the past six weeks to bite the heads off our chickens.
          Lilly Warren, Pearcedale

POOR FORM to inappropriately violent movies and video games. I firmly believe they damage young brains and thus contribute to a more violent society. After playing Donkey Kong for hours, our son used to throw heavy objects at our neighbour, Mario. This might be put down to mere coincidence (we all hated Mario, in any case) but I was recently even more disturbed by the boy’s behavior after seeing the Godzilla movie. He rushed out of the cinema, ran to the beach, and started swimming for Japan. Before we knew it he’d destroyed half of Tokyo.
          Concerned Parent, Rosebud

GOOD FORM to Ryan Gosling. Your sizzling performance in “Blue Valentine” inspired me to reignite my long-dormant sex life with my husband of 23 years.
          Alison Donatellinos, Frankston

POOR FORM to the noisy fookin’ chickens next door. I mean, how many of these fookin’ things ‘ave you people got? I’m way too old for this bollocks.
          OZZIE OSBOURNE, Pearcedale

POOR FORM to my wife for making me wear a cardboard cutout Ryan Gosling mask in the bedroom. It was fun the first time but now I’m bloody sick of it! How about I put you in a mask, Alison? – force you to impersonate someone I find sexy? – see how it you like it!
          Frank Donatellinos, Frankston

GOOD FORM to automotive nose picking. There’s nothing more satisfying after suppressing the urge all day at work, than to sit in the total privacy of one’s car and scrape a few giant boogey monsters out of the cave.
Anonymous”, Secret Nose-Pickers Society

POOR FORM to our neighbours, Ryan Gosling and Kermit the Frog. I don’t judge your lifestyle but you could at least close the curtains. Think of the children.
          Catharine Rheame, Frankston

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