Good Form Poor Form (August 2014)

POOR FORM to my four-year-old boy. I am not “Poopy Bum-Bum Head”, I am your mother.
          Helen Waczx, Cranbourne

POOR FORM to the noisy tenant in the apartment above me, stomping around at all hours like a horse with a brain injury. How a single old lady can make such a racket is beyond me.
          Con Kotsopularis, Frankston

GOOD FORM to the pending investigation into inadequate public housing. The cramped conditions in my apartment block are, in my opinion, not conducive to good mental health. My horse, for example, seems to have gone completely insane.
          Marie Nopfler, Frankston

GOOD FORM to my girlfriend for her broadminded attitude toward my Syndrome. Sadly, people with this affliction are often unable to distinguish between appropriate and inappropriate behavior unless our mistakes are pointed out to us. I am very grateful to have such a tolerant and devoted woman by my side.
          Randy Yopp, Dromana

POOR FORM Randy, you low dog! Ok, so maybe it was your “syndrome” that made you sit on the floor licking pretzels all night at Mum’s party. But it’s no excuse for the sex-tape affair with my auntie, or, for that matter, the public beheading of my dad! Syndrome, shmyndrome, Randy: IT’S OVER.
          Rachel Gewy, Dromana

GOOD FORM to doughnuts and kabana – sooo funny, LOL!!! 😉
          Munt Dullard, Seaford

GOOD FORM to the fellow explorers who allowed me to partake of their shelter and provisions when I happened, one squally night, upon their modest encampment. If not for your charity, kind Sirs, I might have perished out there.
          Edgar H. Hintonbury, London

POOR FORM to the lost dude who jumped in me van the other night when we were havin’ a quiet smoke in the car park. He was all saturated and crazy, and he ate all me chewy.
          Dane Farnham, Rye

POOR FORM to predictive texting. I’m a professional astrologer trying to run a business, for heavens sake! People trust me to text them their daily horoscope. This sort of thing could potentially ruin lives. I can only hope my customers retain strange fat in their bosoms.
Medusa, Chelsea

POOR FORM… Whoops, that should of course read: shlong fart in their condoms.
          Lady Medusa, Chelsea

          Lardy Mad USA, Cheddar

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